ARRESTED!! For Disorderly Conduct and Public Brawling

Written in very cursive script denoting the maturity and education of the author 

February 22dnd,

Dear Journal,

Everything started out as a normal day for me in Dalaran ...right up until I got arrested for disorderly conduct and public brawling.  The day was really kind of perfect up until then.

Let' me put down what happened if I can keep this meat on my eye while I do it.  Yes, damn it, I have a black eye to add insult to injury.  Let me just start back at the beginning, might make more sense that way.

I had been in my study going through the contracts and working with  Kashiqi and Callianne on their lessons.  We were all making great progress with our separate tasks - I had promised the kids that they could go to the toy store down the street  if they finished their lessons and did well with them.  They were really working hard at it.

Anyway, to make a long story short, they finished their lessons, I was not really dressed to accompany them to the toy store, so, I gave Callianne a pouch of money and told her that they could each buy one toy and get some sweets from the vendor near the bank.  Big mistake...big BIG mistake, I should have gone with them.

I guess the kids had made their way to the toy store and found the toys that they wanted.  Callianne bought a little doll for her baby sister and Kashiqi got an air rifle - figures, doesn't it?  I know she dotes on the baby and likes to make her smile.

I know the kids always like to cut through the park with the fountain to get to the sweet vendor by the bank, it's actually almost visible from the front of the house.  Kashiqi and I have had this discussion about the places you should use the facilities and the places you should not - our backyard is one place you shouldn't.  I guess the poor fellow was under some stress after the excitement of getting the new air rifle  and being out in the city with Callianne on his own.  Well, the running water was like a magnet from what Callianne has told me. 

Poor fellow just whipped out his equipment right there in front of the people in the park and started relieve himself in the fountain - oh the cries must have been deafening and I'm surprised that I didn't hear them at the house. 

Apparently some woman started screaming about sacrilege and  a fellow grabbed Kashiqi to make him stop.   Callianne is still asking me about "sack ridges".  Apparently, Shiqi had his foam sword from the Faire strapped to his back and proceeded to pull that out and started flailing away on the fellow.  Callianne was trying to pull Shiqi out of the scuffle and another man grabbed her - not a good plan at any time.  Shiqi had Piggy with him and threw the pig at the fellow that had his hands on Callianne.  I guess what happened next was the capper.  Apparently, Callianne's head was at just the right angle and the right height - she head butted the poor fellow in the crotch.

The fellow was able to grab Callianne by the collar of her dress and was shaking her quite violently. Of course, with all of the noise and screaming, the local magistrates decided to show up on the scene.

The next thing I knew, there was a loud pounding on the door of the house and a loud cry from the housekeeper for me to get to the door immediately.

What greeted my eyes was a magistrate holding Callianne up in the air by the collar as she flailed her little arms and legs in the air.  "Mr. whateverthefuck  your name is - this thing needs to be put down and not allowed to run freely through the streets of a town.!"

I had gasped in horror at how our little Callianne was being treated and saw Shiqi behind them with another magistrate in handcuffs.  I think I lost whatever sanity I had left at that point - everything went kind of blank as my fist shot out and caught the magistrate square in the jaw, which caused him to drop Callianne on the ground. She turned around and started hitting the fellow with ice, yes, ice blocks, huge blocks of ice.  He started to hit Callianne with a nightstick that he had in his hand and I was on him like a cat in a feeding frenzy.

Let's just say that when I regained consciousness, all three of us were in a cell together.  Little Callianne was sitting next to me sobbing like her little heart was breaking  and Shiqi was crying as only a grown Orc can do that - loud and wailing.  "Mr. Fnor ...I had to pee bad!!"

As I slowly righted myself I pulled Callianne up on my lap and tried to soothe her as much as I could under the circumstances.

"OhMrFNORUncleElderOnatamissogonnabemadatthesemeanpeoplwhenhefindsout.YourgonnabeinsomuchtroublewhenMissPoeticafindsoutaboutthistoo, " Callianne spoke between sobs without taking a breath.  All I could do was to try to smooth her hair, try to get her little pigtails back where they were supposed to be at least.

When we finally were brought up in front of the judge for arraignment, I was able to explain to the best of my ability about the situation.  After the judge stopped laughing at the situation, my discomfiture as well as the two kids clinging to my hands, he let us go with a reprimand.  I guess we must have livened up the day for him, since Dalaran can be rather dull sometimes.

Now, I have to sit down and try to explain to Callianne and Kashiqi about why this happened and that the people in Dalaran aren't mean, just a little dense sometimes.  Oh, Light, how I dread facing Elder Onatam and Poe.  Anteas was so furious that she's not even talking to me at the moment.

Well, I guess I need to try to get cleaned up a bit before Poetica gets back from her training today.  There went one of the days that Pan and I had planned on doing some field work - I never knew that child rearing could be so dangerous.

Fnor Morningstar