Decisions (part 2!)

Jax hoped this was the last cold snap before spring. Sometimes if he spent too much time outside he could feel his limbs stiffening up, the sludge slowly solidifying in his dead veins. But it was never anything even comparable to the cold of Northrend, and even that bitter ice didn’t really bother him. A few occasions he felt terribly guilty, as he sat focused too hard on his carvings to notice his poor little dog starting to shiver beside him. He always wrapped Pringle up in whatever clothes he had to spare, he wished he could just cuddle with the little guy and help him stay warm, but he had no warmth to give. Fortunately nearly every tavern in town was familiar with him and his dog, and didn’t mind when he loitered too much.

Tonight, he did have warmth, if for just a short while. He called on some old connections to get a nice, almost scalding hot bath to soak in, and a crackling fire to help dry out his hair. He retained the warmth of the bath for a time. He also borrowed a thick coat to get to his appointment, to keep the heat in. He felt silly, a death knight bundled up against the cold. But it was late, no one really took notice of his movements.

The man was waiting for Jaxith and opened the door before he even had a chance to knock. He smiled broadly, inviting the death knight inside.

Before he knew it the cloak was gone, their clothes were on the floor. They embraced with a gusto that would make an observer think they were actually lovers.

Thalin broke off the kiss, nuzzling into Jax’s neck. “I knew you would come.”

Jax frowned faintly, glad the man couldn’t see his face. Of course he was going to come, Thalin’s offer had been too good. He nuzzled back, whispering in Thalin’s ear. “So, are you going to tell me where you got it?”

Thalin pulled back with a smile, pressing his finger to Jax’s lips. “After…mm?”

The death knight nodded, his eyes sliding over to the nightstand. The plump bag of banje sat next to a decent sized stack of gold coins. Thalin tended to be generous.

He fell back into the routine far too easily. He certainly didn’t mind sex. Jax was lucky, it still brought him pleasure. And he certainly didn’t dislike Thalin, he was after all a very generous man. Gentle as well, even sensual. He had always looked forward to Thalin’s visits at the brothel. Though the man always expected his money’s worth. He never finished early, which could occasionally get tiresome, and tonight was no exception.

Eventually the young noble fell back on the bed with a satisfied smile, grinning from ear to ear. Jax lifted his wrists to Thalin, they were bound with fine silk ties, nothing Jax couldn’t break free from if he really felt like it, but Thalin liked to play at being kinky occasionally. The man chuckled, tugging the knot, freeing Jax’s wrists.

“Ah…that was fun, I’ve missed seeing you, I’m ashamed to admit.” The young man smiled, running a hand through his now tousled hair.

“I suppose it has been a while, hasn’t it?” Jax smiled, he always had trouble with this part. He supposed a part of himself did miss Thalin, and his easy money. But he didn’t really miss… this.

“I suppose I owe you some answers now, don’t I?”

Jax nodded in reply.

“I can introduce you to my dealer, you can usually find him loitering around the lake in the evenings.” He propped himself up on one elbow, patting the bed next to him. “Come, cuddle.”

Jaxith obligingly slid under the covers next to the man. Thalin slung his arm over the death knight’s chest and planted a kiss on his shoulder before pulling back. “Oh, bloody hell, you’ve gone cold on me again, when’d that happen?” He scooted away, poking Jax’s side in a none to subtle hint to get out of the bed. The death knight sighed, and went to put on his pants.

“Oh, Light, Light! Can you believe it. I’m getting married in a week Jax. A week! To a woman I don’t even like. And she’s not even pretty. Not only do I have to pretend to like having sex with women, I have to pretend to like having sex with an UGLY woman.” He drove his face into his pillow, dramatically, then peered up again at the death knight as Jax sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on his shirt. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Have sex with people you’re not…interested in.”

Jaxith frowned at the question. “I don’t know. I suppose it’s not that hard…I guess I don’t have really strict preferences. And on the occasions when it has been a performance issue I just blamed it on being dead.”

Thalin laughed, rolling onto his back. “I don’t think I can use that excuse…”

Jaxith shrugged. “Close your eyes and pretend she’s a man?”

The young noble snorted. “I don’t think it’ll really work that way. Besides, that almost seems cruel. She’s not a bad woman, I don’t hate her, I’m just not overly fond. Light, what am I going to do? My parents are going to expect children. And I’m sure I can’t hide it from her forever…”

“I…don’t know. Sorry.” Jax shook his head.

“How can they do this to me? They know I don’t love her…”

“Why don’t you just refuse to marry her?”

“Because, my parents would disown me! I’d be thrown out! I’d have to go find some menial job and be reduced to living like some pauper…” He covered his face with his hands, while Jaxith clenched his jaw, glad he wasn’t facing the young noble.

“I’m sure getting a job couldn’t be that bad…if you don’t love her… You have connections.”

Thalin sighed. “No, I’m doing it. I have to. Maybe I’ll just be straight with her out of the gate and tell her to find some stable boy who looks like me. She doesn’t seem like too big a gossip. And raising someone else’s bastard couldn’t be that bad. A kid’s a kid, who cares who seeded it… I’ll still be his father.”

Jaxith nodded slowly, staring down at his bare feet. His flesh was blackened from being frost bitten one too many times, even the usual necromantic powers couldn’t repair them entirely. Sometimes he was surprised to even still have all of his toenails. He tried to find it in himself to feel sorry for Thalin. But he couldn’t he simply couldn’t. Wealth, children, a wife, a family… But a wife he didn’t love? Still, fatherhood, comfort, whatever he wanted.

“No matter how it goes I know my needs won’t be met…Say…Jaxith…” Thalin ran his hand down the death knight’s back, a gentle caress. “You should be my mistress…Mister…oh hell whatever…”

“Pardon?”

“You know, a mistress. We can keep doing this, meeting…I can get you clothes, I could probably even arrange for a place for you to stay. Get steaks for that little dog of yours, he’s so adorable… whatever you want within reason. And we can do this, oh…I could arrange for a magical bath, so you wouldn’t have to work so hard every time…” Thalin sat up, growing excited as he spoke.

Jax’s throat clenched. A place to stay, a nice cozy home for Pringle, safety, security, a home, a place to get clean, a space to work on his carvings. All he had to do…

Thalin wrapped his arms around Jax’s waist, pressing his cheek into the death knight’s back. “You’d be my little secret. All mine…”

All he had to do…

Jax sat silently, frozen, his mind racing. All he had to do. He would simply submit to the same situation Thalin was, being with someone you don’t love, being with someone for your monetary needs. That wasn’t so bad? He’d just be his little secret, with no love, no family, no children, no prestige, no life.

A jolt shot through Jax’s stomach. An old feeling boiling up inside. Hate. The kind of hatred that fueled him, defined who he was as Scourge, simmering to the surface. He didn’t know why, but he could almost taste it, chew on it, spit it out. He tamped the emotion back down, almost feeling physically ill. He stood up slowly, gathering the coins and banje from the night stand.

“I’ll…think about it.”

He picked up the cloak and put on his shoes, while Thalin still sat smiling.

“Of course! Take your time.”

Never.